Tracey
and Kathy were also selected to be featured writers for
GayWired Media, LesbiaNation, Shewired.com, and LOTL Magazine
in Australia!
The
Naked Truth
"Do you come with an Instruction Manuel?
Charting Our Erogenous Zones, 101"
By Tracey Stevens and Kathy Wunder
I
was actually asked the above question from a woman who I thought
was well-versed in matters of her own body. Sure, it was her
first time with another woman, but she had been married and
quite open about the fact that she was very familiar in the
art of pleasing herself. I have also been with two women who
had no idea what an orgasm was. One had never been with anyone,
including herself, and the other had been in two long-term
relationships, one straight and one lesbian,and sadly neither
partner bothered to help her learn the pleasures of her own
body.
How Kathy and I think about this is that knowledge is power.
If you learn everything you can about a woman’s body,
then you will have confidence in your abilities to bring your
partner pleasure. If you know what a woman’s sometimes
subtle responses mean, then you can communicate on a deeper
level and have a more satisfying sensual relationship.
The wonderful thing about being lesbian or a bisexual women
is that we are all basically the same in structure, yet we
are all incredibly different. What makes one woman hot with
passion can turn another woman totally off. This is why both
verbal and nonverbal communication are so important. In this
installment of The Naked Truth, we will concentrate on basic
anatomy and nonverbal, or bodily, communication.
So you may be wondering “What is bodily communication?”
An example would be when you get cold, your skin may become
covered with goose bumps and you can start to shiver. This
is your body communicating that the temperature is dropping
and you need to do something about it. Our bodies are talking
to us constantly, although many of these messages go unnoticed
because they are such common occurrences. For most of us,
sex does not happen twenty-four hours a day, which means that
during arousal, our body’s responses can be easily charted.
How to chart your own arousal is to pay attention to your
responses when you are beginning to feel sexual. Do you get
flushed in your face, or red around your chest and neck? Do
you feel a heat wave that starts at your feet and burns through
your center? Does your heart start pounding and your respiration
increase, or does your clitoris swell up and start to itch?
Do your hands perspire or do chills break out over your back?
Is your mind suddenly full of wonderfully intense images of
what you would like to do with a female partner?
These are just a few of the messages your body might whisper—or
flat-out yell—when you are in the mood for lesbian love.
The key is to be aware of your own messages, and then open
yourself up to seeing what your partner’s messages are.
A good place to start is knowing about erogenous zones Many
people think that erogenous zones are purely genital, but
Kathy and I have found this is far from true. When a woman
is in the mood, her entire body can be an erogenous zone,
and it’s up to her partner to learn her favorite places.
This can be done by paying close attention to what her body
is telling you, or by your partner actually saying what she
likes. Both ways are great, and should be used in conjunction
with each other.
Some common erogenous zones include a woman’s breasts.
Breasts come in various shapes and sizes. Many women have
petite soft mounds, while others have watermelon breasts that
could about knock you out if used as a weapon! Some women
have huge nipples and some have tiny ones. It’s pretty
much up to your own biology what you have on your chest.
Some women’s breasts are extremely sensitive to the touch,
even to the point of producing orgasms, while others have
boobs of steel, meaning no amount of wonderful stimulation
will phase them. Whatever you have, be proud of them. Kathy
always tells me she could wear her bra backwards and no one
would ever notice, something she has actually done before
with a sports bra, but whenever she brings up how small she
is, I always remind her of the old saying that “More
than a mouthful is wasted.”
Another obvious erogenous zone is the vulva. The vulva is
composed of all the external parts of a woman’s genitals.
The whole thing is full of nerve endings, which makes it extremely
sensitive to stimulation, so since this area is pretty important
as far as intimacy, let’s start from the outside in.
The Mound of Venus, or mons pubis, is like a small pillow
that sits on a woman’s pubic bone. It helps pad the area
so if your partner is on top of you she won’t get hurt.
This area can be extremely sensitive in the beginning arousal
state for both partners. It is usually covered with pubic
hair shaped in an upside-down triangle. A lot of women do
interesting things with pubic hair, from shaving it into a
heart shape, or hot-waxing it into a tiny little racing stripe,
to a total smoothy--no hair at all.
As you head down, you come to the labia majora, or large outer
lips. This area consists of two folds of skin which usually
has hair, unless it’s been removed. The labia majora
can be very sensitive in the beginning stages of arousal.
This area is a great place to massage your partner by lightly
rubbing the folds together. When you pull them apart, you
will find the interior of the vulva.
The labia minora, or inner lips, have no pubic hair. The skin
will be similar to your partner’s mouth. This area is
also a great place to massage. The two folds of the labia
minora meet at the top and form the hood of the clitoris.
Also called the prepuce, this skin covers the clitoris, and
protects it from driving us all crazy when we are not meaning
to be aroused.
When sensual stimulation occurs, the clitoris swells and becomes
the size of a pea. This area is also known as “the little
woman in the boat.” The clitoris is the only organ in
the whole world whose sole purpose is pleasure. It is full
of nerve endings, and, with the correct kind of stimulation,
it can produce as many orgasms as a woman can take. It is
sexual perfection at the highest degree and should be celebrated
as much as possible.
The urethra, where urine passes through to the outside of
the body, is the tiny hole located between your clitoris and
your vaginal opening. To help prevent urinary tract infections,
always wipe yourself from front to back.
The vaginal orifice, or opening, is also where the hymen is
located. The area around the opening, and an inch or so inside,
is full of nerve endings. It is a wonderful place to tease
your lover. The vagina is a muscular, hollow tube which leads
to the cervix. The cervix is the entrance to the uterus or
womb. Tampons are inserted into the vagina, and babies leave
the womb through the vagina.
Leading down to the anus is the perineum. This can be flat,
slightly raised, or an actual ridge of skin, like a tiny labia
minora. This small area is not that stimulating for most lesbians
I’ve known, although the skin around and in the anus
is. The anus should be approached with caution. Some women
love to have their anus rubbed; some enjoy penetration into
the rectum; and some will totally freak out if you even mention
going there.
As we said
before, breasts and vulvas are the major erogenous zones for
many women, but these are certainly not the only ones. A romantic
massage is always a great way to start the fire of desire,
so become the sensual mapmaker, charting your own body’s
erogenous zones and your partner’s. Remember, have fun
and always play safe!
Original
Article appeared on Lesbianation.com here: "Do
You Come With an Instruction Manual?"
